Fasting and Feasting

So today I read about how life does not conform to our expectations. In my everyday life, I refer to this as not seeing the sailboat. To make a long story short, in the movie Mallrats (which is a pretty raunchy movie, but it makes me laugh, don't judge) Wilhem stares at this magic eye all day without seeing it. As people pass by they stop for a moment and go, "WOW! A Sailboat!!!" which just irritates the crap out of Wilhem. Eventually in the end Wilhem does see the sailboat! However, we never see this. So to go back to life not conforming to our expectations, it talks about us not basically getting our way and we always end up with the response that we do not like the outcome. We all have days when we don't see the sailboat, and those days suck. However, if we were to ALWAYS see the sailboat, life would get boring and that would suck too. To tie in the title of this reflection, I can look to the days of not seeing the sailboat as my 'fasting days' when things don't go right, and when things do go right and I see the sailboat, those are my days to feast. In the end, they kinda balance out. Some of each, not one more than the other. I guess to appreciate each one you have to have the other. And that's my two cents.

Before the Foundation of the World

Ave Maria! Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception -ora pro nobis-

I often wonder what kind of spiritual warfare Our Lady had to endure. She was the strongest woman ever to exist! To resist ALL temptation!?!? I think I'm strong, but then again, I so easily fall. What kind of a person could I be if I had even an ounce of her strength? I guess I have to keep trying. I was called to exist for the praise of God's glory. I just need to try harder.

Festive Fellowship

Today's reflection talks about how no matter who you are or what you do, everyone can come into a church and not feel rejected. Well, good sir (Fr. Virgilio) I object! It may be my bitterness towards a select few who have basically tried to vote me off the island of teaching. I was told I didn't belong and should stop showing up. I basically got kicked down and then stepped on a few times. It hurt and it sucked. But to go on, I agree that you should come to the church when you are tired and burdened. That's what I did, I went to prayer. Eventually I got through it and I'm fine with the outcome (all though I don't think others were). God puts you in places and situations and gets you through them. I'm just glad I went to him instead of going with my first instinct to say "Eff You All!!!" and walk out. No I lifted my head high and I did the right thing! Not to be boastful or prideful, but I did what Jesus would want me to do. I still don't necessarily feel accepted into that particular parish but, at least it's over now.

Comfort, Give Comfort

Today's reflection is about mending any brokenness you may have with another. Whether it is a little thing, or a huge thing. Easier said than done, right? While that is a really good thing, I like better the ending of the reflection when it says to find someone to be extra gracious to today. I did that a few times today and it feels good too, as the reflections says: "Stand back and watch the kingdom break forth."

The One Who Comes

Today's reflection is a poem and instead of me giving my confusing two-cents about it, I'll just share the poem. Happy Monday!

The One Who Comes

You are the Other for whom we wait,
Jesus, Word and response,

you are our only song,

Emmanuel in our silences.

Are you the one who is to come

to make our deserts bloom,

to free our hearts,

to bring our seeds to life

by the waters of the Jordan?

You are the Other for whom we wait,

Jesus, Source of living water,

you are the springtime for the grain,

Emmanuel in our deserts.

Are you the one who is to come

and who comes each day

to free our lives,

to stir up breath

by the movement of your own?

You are the Other for whom we wait,

Jesus, the world's strength,

you are the Living One who returns,

Emmanuel, God-with-us.

20 Days Until Christmas!

Prepare the Way of the Lord!

"Where there is a loss of the sense of sin, the work of Christ in taking away the sins of the world becomes meaningless."
- Fr. Michael Casey

 As we are quickly plowing our way through the Advent Season, how are we doing in our sense of 'Preparing the Way of the Lord?' What have we improved on during the 1st week of Advent? Has our prayer life gotten stronger? Have we given anything extra to those who are in need? Have we looked at our lives and where there is a need for change? To confess a sin we may never have considered a sin before? The above quote is so true, I have found myself in the last few years realizing that I've been doing things that are sinful and through God's grace, especially in the confessional, I've been able to realize that they are sins and start to slowly overcome them. No one said it was going to happen overnight. Sometimes it takes years.

"In our own lives...if we are to prepare a way for the Lord we need to rediscover our own need for redemption, as individuals, as communities and nations, and as the church."

We may think we are doing good, but there are so many things that need healing, change and restoration by the saving blood of the Lamb. We all want a pure heart, whether we are to admit it or not. A goal this next week in advent could be to strive for that purer heart.

Generous Compassion

This reflection talks about a conflict between two tendencies: One is the tendency to pursue our own interests at the expense of those of other people. The other is to spend ourselves in the service of others even at great cost.  Basically: Selfishness vs. Generosity. The reflection leans toward the later and says that compassion is key to acquiring the tendency to be generous. I kinda struggle with this in my job. As a nurse aide, I give care to elderly people out of compassion. Not everyone can do this. I mean there are a lot of queasy things to deal with such as smells and body fluids, and aggression when they become combative (I have the bruises to prove it). Verbal abuse when you are called a 'bitch' 'dumb-dumb' 'the devil' just to name a few. I have to basically through all of this keep my composure and be nice to them. I try to keep myself thinking that I'm doing this out of compassion, but then again I get a pay check, which can be seen as selfish. I guess though, when you give out of generosity you then also receive. It's not selfish to receive if we are giving in return. This is a great paradox! I give a lot of myself in my job, even at the hardest times, in the end it's still rewarding. Whether I receive a 'thank-you' or a hug, (or a kiss cuz these old ladies love to give you a kiss on the cheek!) I guess it's going to be enough. My reward in Heaven will be the greatest. I don't make very much money doing this but I think it helps make me feel less selfish.