I think blogger hates me!

So in the past year or so as I've been very slowly writing in my blog, I enjoy more than ever reading other people's blogs. Especially blog  posts about Catholicism. If you haven't been creeping on me, you probably don't know this. I am one of, well now 5 Catechists for the Theology of the Body program at my Parish (Our Lady of Mt. Carmel) and another parish my priest administrates, St. James. We follow the book "Theology of the Body for Teens." The book is great, don't get me wrong, but there is sooooo much more to bring in. As a single person, my only real responsibilities are to myself and my jobs. I have no one else to care for or anyone who solely relies on me, unlike the other 4 Catechists that I tag-team teach with. They are all married and have children ranging from college age to one in the womb. The others have very little free time in which to research and find extra material in which to present outside of the text.
Like I said at the beginning, I love to read others blogs. And a lot of times, if there is something so good, a point that I can't pass up, I use it in class. This goes for amazing articles that people post on facebook as well. My mom is the DRE of my parish and she has heard the different viewpoints of all of us catechists. She feels that the program should evolve. The videos, to be blunt, kinda, sorta, really suck. They become increasingly boring. Especially when you have to watch them week after week. Don't get me wrong, they are full of incredibly good information. But when you add  23 fifteen year-olds in a room together, in which 95% of them just came from some sort of sports practice after a full day of school and no dinner and pop in these videos, this all equals sleepy teenagers who want to nap or screw around.
Any good teacher (or in my case, catechist) comes into teaching with their ideas. Year one you go through the material. You most likely rate your lessons: That was perfect, that was alright, could be better, that didn't work so good, that bombed, I'll never do that again, etc. Year two comes around and you reuse what works, eliminate what did not, and tweak what needs to be tweaked. You do this year after year. I came into teaching TOB last year when it was in it's third year at our parish. Two of the catechists were there from the beginning and there was myself and another newbie. Well after a year, I had pretty much ranked what we did into some of the above categories. This year we met as teachers. Mind you, one came back who taught the first two years. This caused the other newbie from last year to feel unnecessary and she stopped showing up.  Well we agreed to take certain subjects and group them and kinda teach it in it's entirety, instead of bringing it up in small doses as the chapters seem to skip around sometimes and very much so keep repeating themselves. Some of the students felt that we just kept repeating ourselves week after week. Another thing was to eliminate the videos. Well if there is something good to use, then show that aspect, but they aren't needed for every class.
So after 3 classes it seemed as if that wasn't working and it's slowly started to go back to what it was before with a lot of tangents going on. Tangents are good, if they can be brought back into the subject at hand, but 80% of the time it's off subject for the rest of class and the purpose of the class was never fully finished and we just move on.
As the DRE, my mom wanted to put together another outline, which I helped her with, since I am one of the Catechists. She sent it out to the 4 others and basically I was completely attacked tonight by it. Yes you can say that a lot of it was my input, but halfway through this discussion I had to ask the question, "Do you not want me here? Is that what you are getting at?" I am one to know when I am not wanted and I will up and leave. Part of my growing holier is to cut out things that are not bringing me closer to God. If I am doing nothing but offending the other Catechists because I want to go with the flow of evolving the program and the others want to go back to the "let's watch the video and see where it goes" then mayhaps, I should let them. In a certain sense, that may be the easy route, just let the program be lukewarm, not let it grow and let it remain complacent.
Then I think of the kids, my students. I truly feel like I can connect with them. I'm closer in age to them and they can relate to me better than the others who have 20, 30+ years on them.  I can stand up for my faith and answer the hard questions the way the church does, no matter how hard they try to justify that the world view is right. I am able to take these amazing blog posts, current events articles, papal documents and bring them into the classroom. I have the time and I enjoy doing it! I guess what I need to do is humble myself further and maybe just shut my mouth, which has gotten me in trouble in the past. I hands down LOVE teaching this subject. It challenges me to want to know more about my faith. I want to be able to answer the hard questions and at this point in my life, I am able to put a ton of effort into this! Jesus, allow me to see the plan you have for me. Give me that profound humility that your mother has. Give me the courage to stand up for the truth and to better the program or if it be your will that I walk away and move onto the next part of my life that you have in store for me.
In the end I think we all want to know why blogger hates me. Well it's the fact that when I look at all these blogs they are so personalized, they are artsy, they are pretty, cute and I for the life of me can not figure out how to make mine look good enough to reflect me. Everything I want to change gives me no options to do so and I just can't seem to make a color scheme pop! Ugh...oh well, it'll have to be the weird looking boring thing it's always been. One day, mayhaps, I'll get it to feel like 'me'. For now, I'll just not look at it too much. I guess I'll stop ranting now, but I think the best part of blogging is just getting to spill your guts when you just can't seem to do it any other way.

I'm trying to be a Morning Person

I really don't know why I'm still up but I am. Why would you be surprised that I'm still up at 12:26am? Well I've been working a first shift job all week! That's right kids, I have a big kid job! It only took me 25 years to get one, haha.
Here's how it all went down:
I sing at church every once in a while with three other people. One of those people is Deb. While we were rehearsing one evening she talked about a co-workers daughter who has a CNA job at an Assisted Living. This girl was going back to college and there was a need to fill her position. I became curious and actually had an application from back in January when I picked up applications from a handful of Assisted Livings. So I filled it out. I turned it in the next day (This was a Wednesday) and the next day I was called for an interview which would take place the next Tuesday. I went to my interview and was basically told that if my background check and references all checked out I'd be put on the schedule. The next day (Wednesday) I received a call while at work and it was about a job offer!!! I was sooooooooo excited! I had a big kid job!!! I was going to be making more money than I ever have and be getting a significant amount of hours (About 56-58 every 2 weeks!) I was going to be actually using one of my degrees! Well, certificate. I however, did not want to make the $118 for my CNA exam a waste, I really wanted to use it seeing as I am starting Nursing School next year.
My next step was to put in my two weeks notice at the Country Store. When I did my aunt shit a brick, she also proceeded to bitch me out for 10 minutes. I was really happy no customers came in at that time. She did apologize 10 minutes later and things were just kinda weird for my last two weeks. Oh well. At first I wasn't going to be replaced and 2 days before I was finished a "Now Hiring" sign went in the window. I think they should hire a man, that place lacks testosterone!!!
Anyways, last week Tuesday I started my new job under the title of CNA! Today I pretty much worked on my own and did fairly well. Except I forgot to empty a couple garbage cans. I hope they don't hate me now, but I'm still getting the hang of everything. I was so nervous about learning names cuz I'm soooo bad at it! However, to my surprise, I am pretty sure that I can remember ALL 22 of the residents names! HUZZAH!!! The best part about landing this job: I GET TO WEAR SCRUBS AGAIN!!! I was able to pull them out of retirement. I was like "I remember you! And I remember you! I can't wait to wear you again!" Okay, it really didn't go like that, but I was ridiculously excited to wear them again! I even went to Fleet Farm on Friday and bought two new scrub pants. One is light blue, the other dark purple. I just love how comfortable they are! The best part, I don't have to wear out my good clothes anymore at work. WIN!
So back to the question at hand, why am I feeling guilty for being up? Cuz I've been working 1st shift. Yes, this perpetual night owl is waking up at 5:30am. Tomorrow I have First Aide Training so I get to go in for 9 so I get to 'sleep in'. Haha. I've actually only slept past 10:00 once in like the last 4 weeks. Crazy. I must be becoming an adult. Now that's a scary thought!